Balance beyond belief

Ah! Shaadi season again. Translates to more socializing, more meeting people, more ranting. I can never be done with the usual ranting about looks, attire, kids (ever since I got married) etc. But of late, I've found one more question/remark quite amusing.


First, women are stereotyped that their first priority should always be family (I don't have a problem with that as I agree). But they're not well-received when they're career oriented and give equal importance to make it big in the corporate world. On the other hand, they're not very well-received if they balance both well too! Don't believe? Read on.


It's been close to 3 years since I got married. And we stayed away from home for over a year and we managed pretty well in handling the household affairs. I don't take care of stuff at home or help Mom with cooking because that's the way I've always been. Mom is an excellent cook and is very fast at things, which I am not. And she prefers doing things herself because that way things are done faster. All I do is run errands and do other things but not the kitchen stuff. But when I NEED to cook, I manage pretty well. Lived out of home for quite some time and manage to cook decently. I'm very choosy about food and not very impressed with anything and everything. But I eat what I cook, which in itself is a big thing if you ask me. Moreover, my husband loves whatever I cook. Period. I really don't care about what others have to say about my skill.


But what amuses me is even after these 3 years, I still face questions about my cooking. 'Do you know how to cook?' 'Oh, you don't cook at all and eat at your Mom's place?' Or to my husband - 'Does she cook well?' 'Hope you can manage to eat what she cooks.' I just can't understand this obsession with cooking ability. It's not what I live for, and definitely not something that I consider important to survive. It's a skill, agreed. And very few people have the rare gift to make tasty dishes out of anything. I respect them. But why expect me to be one of them? And why can't people believe me when I say I can cook? My husband MUST ratify that I cook well. Or they'll say something like 'We'll come to your home, cook for us'. By all means, you're welcome to my home. But if it's to test my cooking abilities, then sorry, I really don't care what you have to say about that!


Why is it so hard for people  to believe that a woman can be good at both? Professional work and household care. I won't say I'm a superwoman, but I manage my home quite well. I never ask for my parents/in-laws' help in taking care of my home. Not that I mind if they do - but I really don't feel the need. I keep my home decent enough for people to feel at home when they come home. Then why question my abilities JUST because I have a professional degree and earn for a living? I'm as womanly/human as anybody else is. I'm sure most of the working women face such situations - I hear you, ladies. I can understand when you smile away as a pesky relative asks a silly question.