Shattering Attires

It's that time of the year when you suddenly start introspecting on what you've achieved in the year gone by and try to document to impress the boss. So while looking at some weird colleagues in the recent times, I got some ideas on rating the employees. An employee's professional results shouldn't be judged on business generated, problems solved etc. alone. There are deeper and more serious things to be considered, which ignored might hamper the company's reputation and growth. For example - employees' attire.

We have a dresscode in my current organization, and as per the dresscode, EVERYBODY is supposed to wear business formals for 4 days in a week and wear BUSINESS casuals on Fridays. The emphasis on BUSINESS because lot of them don't understand the difference between business casuals and real casuals. So you end up seeing people wearing:

- Dingy Jeans - Faded, shaded, boot-cut, torn etc. Anything but normal blue/black respectable jeans that you see sensible working people wear.

- Flashy floaters - Mind you, these are not the suave Adidas/Nike/Reeboks. The fake ones with orange, yellow, purple stripes/belts that attract your attention to the feet from 2 Km distance.

- Jing-bang Jhootas (for girls) - Usually girls have it easy because they find decent footwear in almost all colours. Both work and party types. But there are some women who choose to mix-and-match the time and occassion and end up wearing really glittering footwear that is more blinding than the bright CFLs in office.

- Accessories - Now there's a lot of scope here. People wear all kinds of things - thick chains, bulky watches, flashy ear-studs(guys) and noisemaking anklets(girls). They think the looks that people give them are out of admiration, not disgust!

- Weirdo Hairdos - Sigh! Unfortunately, this problem is more with men than with women. I thought grownup women liked trim and smart men and not the weirdos?! At least I do. Wonder why some men flaunt their locks at work! No customer will be impressed meeting a junkie-looking guy with a namoona gold/red coloured hairstyle!

I understand that some people don't need to interact with clients all the time. But there is something called "professionalism" - your attire shouldn't have a disturbing influence on your co-workers. More power to such people and their friends who can tolerate such attire. But shoo!! Away from me, please!!

Crime and Punishment

If you commit a wrong and then do a good thing, does the wrong get compensated? Is it ok to commit 1000 sins towards some people and do 1000 nice gestures towards others? Does it balance out? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then this post wouldn't make much sense to you. Please move on, there might be other things that might interest you.

If your answer is No to any of these questions, then I have another question - Do you like/admire Narendra Modi because he is an able administrator who has changed the face of Gujarat? If you now say yes, then what's your answer to this?

Whenever there is a discussion about Modi, I usually go quiet because I know that those who support him will not understand my argument. Just like I mentioned above, it doesn't make sense to them. For they are like your project managers - who remember your performance in the last 2-3 months and not really the whole year.

If the same crime were to be committed by a common man, would he be let free? When there is an eye-witness to the whole episode and he's willing to go to court with it, why shouldn't Modi be punished?

Modi has done well for Gujarat. All the improved administration, development, business in Gujarat is thanks to his administration? But can these overwrite the happenings of 2002? Shouldn't he be arrested and prosecuted for his atrocities against the citizens of his state? I know many people who feel proud of what Modi did to Gujarat, but I hang my head in shame.

Bell Bajao

Apparently October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and IHM's post on the same compelled me to write a piece on the topic.

When Amitabh fails her by driving their elder son away from home, Jaya tells him that he is just a 'Pati' and not 'Parmeshwar' - because God doesn't commit mistakes (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham).

A husband is just that - a HUSBAND. Not God! He is a partner, a companion. He is an equal partner in a marriage and shares the responsibilities and the pleasures of being married equally with the wife. A wife is not the lesser among equals, and a husband doesn't have any right to exert his force on her.

In India, girls are conditioned to believe that the guy and his family are more important than she and her family (even by her own family). His family always comes first. By some weird logic and magic, she ceases to belong to the family that she is born into and must BELONG to the new family. As if she doesn't have a mind of her own and she doesn't need time to get adjusted to the fact that she is entering a new relationship with the guy and his family. The simplest of justifications being she is transferred to a new 'gotram', as if she is a property and is being exchanged over a stamp-paper!

It's not just the fault of the guy and his family when she faces a threat to her existence in his home. Her parents will tell her to adjust, to be more accommodating and try to save their face in the society by sticking to an unhappy marriage. She won't be supported and encouraged to walk out of a marriage which has no meaning.

It's always considered okay for the girl to face the violence, after all she is a GIRL, and she won't talk/hit back. If she does raise her voice, she is reminded time and again that she is a G-I-R-L, and there is a way in which she is supposed to behave, whereas it doesn't apply to the guys. They can live the way they want to, choose to say what they want to, and treat girls like a property or a decorative piece.

Violence doesn't hurt the body alone. It affects one's psyche in such a way that one might be afraid to speak to the offender. The scars and bruises will be gone, but the damage to the inner self can't be repaired so easily, probably never.

And then there are families which believe in going the verbal way. They won't consider the girl to be a human being and part of the family, but expect her to consider them her family. They won't hurt her physically, but make sure she and her family is insulted every now and then so much that she loses her self-esteem and develops a sense of hatred for the family, which is, well... just natural.

A girl is as good/bad as a boy and is only as capable as she is brought up to be. She deserves equal treatment and respect at both her homes, work and society in general. It's just plain wrong to bring her up making her feel she is the lesser being and then add to her misery through mistreatment in all spheres of life.

These facts may not be applicable to some educated, well-to-do girls, but still applicable to many others. Sometimes education and financial liberty contribute nothing to a girl's urge to voice her opinion.

Strange Encounters

Usually the hubby drives the car while coming to work. Some days when he has an early morning meeting, I end up taking the car. Today was such a day. Not a meeting but he had to go to another destination and asked me to drop him mid-way.

I dropped him and continued on my way. The traffic as usual was terrible near Hi-tec MMTS station. That's a danger zone for me and I usually go slow and away from other vehicles to avoid any problem. An auto-driver banged into the rear bumper in the second month after we bought the car and that left me scarred. So I'm usually quite vigilant on this road and do not try to overtake other vehicles.

There's a sharp left-turn just behind the overhead bridge and I was veering left, I heard a bang on my rear left door.

I went pale for a second thinking of what that could mean and looked left furiously to find an auto next to my car. I started hurling abuses (with windows rolled up though). He couldn't have heard what I said but could clearly understand from my expression that I was angry.

I could see the passenger in the auto gesturing and turned towards him to start yelling at him if he supported the driver. But then he said something and showed towards the rear-door. And then I understood what happened.

Just a few minutes before that I noticed an indicator glowing under my steering wheel which was meant to alert me if a door is open (Damn! It was the hubby's mistake). I saw that but since I was in the midst of heavy traffic, I thought I'd check and close after I crossed the overbridge. But the gentle soul in the auto decided to do it for me because the traffic was slow at the junction and he could easily access my car door with some help from the auto driver in getting the auto close to my car.

I felt really ashamed after I realized what happened. He simply smiled at me, did a thumbs-up and moved on. But I felt miserable thinking at my lack of consideration. Later I realized it wasn't a 'BANG' but a gentle thud. I didn't shake inside the car like I did the last time an Indica driver banged into our car from the left. It didn't occur to me for a second that the auto couldn't have hit my car because the noise wasn't as loud. I didn't think of enquiring what happened before I frowned at the auto-driver.

It's quite rare to find people who stop by an accident spot or help a broken down car. So it's not so easy to think of the possibility of someone trying to help you out. But it's gestures like these that make me have faith in people. That make me feel all is not lost in this country. That make me hope. For a better tomorrow :)

When it's the time to end

I just finished reading Ashok Banker's "Vertigo". I'm not writing a review, but I'd definitely recommend the book. Well-written, quite detailed with interesting, multi-layered characters.

The book is not the topic of this post. Topic is the thoughts I had after I finished reading the book. It has an ending that's partially left to the reader's interpretation. It's not like a typical black/white ending that the movies have.

I liked the climax and felt it justifies the characters and the context of the novel. But I couldn't help wondering if I would do the same if it happened in a movie.

In movies, we like black or white climaxes. The heroine either marries the hero or does not. Hero's father either accepts them or does not. The heroine takes hero's infidelity in her stride or does not. It is ALWAYS either this or that. We don't like any middle-paths. I know there must be some exceptional movies which handled such a climax well. But I am talking about the larger percentage of "usual" films.

Isn't it difficult to leave the cinema without really knowing a "concrete" ending to the whole visual that you've seen? Don't you feel a bit empty without knowing whether to feel good or bad at the end of it?

Books give me all the liberty to visualize the scenes, characters and their expressions. So I create my own characters and define their personalities as the story progresses. When the climax is left open, it's easier for me to complete it the way I want. It depends on my feeling for the involved characters at THAT point of time.

But on the other hand, in a movie, I see particular people playing defined characters - and emote in a particular way for different kinds of scenes. I am watching someone else's interpretation of the story, MY taste applies only to the performances of the actors, which of course I can't change depending on the events in the story and my feelings at that point. This leads to a disappointment sometimes when the story doesn't end the way I want it to. It doesn't have anything to do with the story or the performances, it's just my feeling (as an audience) at that point of time. Feels weird, but true. Wonder if everyone feels the same..

Language for unity?

On Monday, I was watching an interesting debate on making Hindi compulsory in schools. Most of the panelists were of the viewpoint that a language can't enable national integrity, it's much deeper than that. And some of them argued that it's because of the chauvinistic Hindi-speakers that the language has lost the respect accorded to it by the South Indians.

There were some points in the debate that I agreed with and some that I didn't. But merely going by Mr. Sibal's words, he is defeating his own logic. He says -

"Hindi should be taught alongwith the regional language. Some students are exceptionally good in their mother tongues. They should learn other languages too"

And then he also says -

"It's time for the country to start thinking about the children instead of imposing a system on them."

Why should Hindi be imposed on the kids? We anyway have English as our business language, and with all due respect, for a non-Hindi speaking person, Hindi and English have the same value. Both languages are foreign to them. Agreed that Hindi was born on Indian soil, but what is the additional gain that I have by learning Hindi? If someone is fluent in English, he/she can find good employment opportunities in/out of India. Hindi doesn't provide any such professional advantage.

I'm not against the idea of learning multiple languages, for that matter I speak Hindi quite fluently. But the idea of forcing children to learn it in the name of "national language" doesn't go down well with me.

Mr. Sibal says -

"Now the lingua franca is English for professionals. When we become producers of knowledge then we can set our language as the lingua franca"

Why this obsession of proving ourselves superior to others? What's the big deal in English replacing Hindi or for that matter any other language? I don't have any particular attachment to any language barring my mother tongue (which I don't think needs to be the lingua franca), and I believe that any language is fine as long as I understand it and gain some knowledge through sources in the language.

If Hindi-speakers want to make Hindi the national language, why do they have a problem with Karunanidhi fighting for equal status for Tamil? He is equally right by that logic.

I disagree with both equally. It should be upto the parents/kids/schools to decide what the child wants to learn - not the state, not the majority of the population, not the dominance of the language.

Enough!!

It's always a woman's fault, isn't it? If an idiot passes by and gropes her because his wife is pissed with his bad breath and avoids him, it's her fault for not covering up or moving away. If a middle-aged lout pinches her bottom in a bus, it's her fault for getting into a crowded city bus. And if a burly moron forces himself upon her, it's because she invited the trouble!

If a young female student is complaining that a plumber tried to force himself upon her, what business does a lawyer have asking her if she bathed, drank or smoke that day? If a woman smokes/drinks, does it entitle men to misbehave with her?

It's shamefully NORMAL for Indians to put up with such groping, pinching etc and move on. Women feel ashamed to share it with friends/family. Only a woman can understand what she goes through when someone misbehaves with her. It affects her psychologically for days, weeks, months and sometimes - forever. Do others care?

Instead of understanding and supporting her, the whole world turns against her and tells her to cover up and "avoid" trouble, as if she invited it in the first place! Why can't a woman be respected as an individual rather than for her characteristics like "simple, beautiful, independent and such other BS"?

A woman wearing a short skirt with a smart spaghetti top with it makes the moral police squirm and malicious men ogle. A woman who drinks/smokes is easily termed "loose character". What has a piece of cloth and a glass of drink to do with a woman's (or even a man's) character? It's completely a personal choice. It's the way one wants to look, live and behave. As adults, we all have the right to live the way we want to. As long as it doesn't affect someone on a personal level, NOBODY has a right to comment on it.

And when someone crosses the line and a woman is bold enough to fight against it, why is the law being a mute spectator to all the humiliation inflicted upon her? Molestation IS a CRIME! It shouldn't be left unpunished!!